So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
PANTIES FOUND
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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