I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
