i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize