big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
