Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
