I wish i was in the wii world.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
