Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
