Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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