i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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