apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
