Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
