i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
