so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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