this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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