It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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