Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
birth control should be required to get into college
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
