I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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