Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
