Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
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