Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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