Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
