this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
