i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
