ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think your dad took our porno
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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