my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Vodka?
Forever.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
