I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So much rum. So many feels.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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