he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
