Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize