Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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