No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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