The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
