time to smoke my breakfast
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
