Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
