Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
