I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize