I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
