If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Randomize
