Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize