your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
