Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
