You smell like stripper and shame
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
last night I used snow as a chaser
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
