38 yer olds are good kisserssss
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
