Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
