i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
its not stalking. its research.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize