there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
