My nipple is on Facebook.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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