I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
