So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
