I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
