tell your sister to shave her snatch
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
