i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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