the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize