my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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