Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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