theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
