I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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