id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
