brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
