make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
