I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
