have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
