I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
