All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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